Jonathan Field - Maker of Random Stuff

The coolest thing at Hooters

Went to Hooters for dinner. As we got seated near to the pool, we noticed an ancient old dude in Speedos dancing by himself on the patio. He was probably 70; his mop of jet white hair was styled more or less like Einstein’s. His skin was an ill-fitting bag of wrinkles and liver spots hung over a slightly stocky frame that bulged mostly in the wrong places. And there he was out there by himself, in his Speedos, dancing up a storm to an odd mix of 80′s music. There were people sitting all around at nearby tables observing and chuckling.

Pretty soon after we got there a twenty-something girl came over to dance with him. She was cute, wearing a bikini, and had a stripper-quality body. I thought it would just be a quick laugh for her, but she ended up dancing with him for the entire time we were there, probably almost an hour. She got up close and personal, doing the bump-n-grind, rubbed his face on her belly, etc. He was gentlemanly about the whole thing, playing along, obviously enjoying, but not getting grabby. After a while the crowd was cheering them on as they did their grotesexy dance.

They only stopped once to grab a drink and chat for a few minutes. She had a strawberry daiquiri and he had a non-alcoholic beer.

I’m not a cynical fellow. I took it at face value: just an old guy living it up, long since free of all the anxieties that tend to make being young less fun than it looks, and a girl having fun while the hot, too-cool-for-school guys in her age bracket sat around the sidelines scoffing, drinking beer, and watching the game. It was one of the more honestly entertaining things I’ve seen in this town.

Of course, you could take it less charitably. She could be a gold digger, though it seems unlikely a girl of her caliber would be scoping out sugar daddies at the low rent Hooters casino. If she was a hired companion it’s almost more intriguing: dancing in bathing suits in the middle of the Hooter’s pool patio is probably an odd request for a call girl even in this town. But I think it was just a random, playful event.

As we were leaving I wanted to go over and say “hi”, and complement them on their entertaining performance, but I chickened out. Besides they seemed to be having too much fun to interrupt.

Note to self: guys who dance fearlessly get the chicks.

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