Jonathan Field - Maker of Random Stuff


Yes: I was a contender this past Saturday in The World Series of Speed Quarters. You may know the game by another name like “Beirut” or “Bozo”. Or you may not know it at all if you, like myself, somehow avoided stupid drinking games in college. Meaning I avoided college. But that ended up keeping me out of the stupid drinking games as well. I’m sure you’re licking your palms with curiosity so I’ll fill you in:

You have a table full of people (six to eight) and there are two empty shot glasses. The glasses start on opposite sides of the table. When the whistle blows the people with the shot glasses try to bounce a quarter off the table and into the glass. When they get it they pass the glass to their left. They can try as many times as they like, but if the second glass catches up to them before they make it, they have to drink a beer or take a shot.

Take that, multiply it by six tables full of players, a sports bar full of fans, announcers on the PA, and a film crew, and you’ve got an idea of my Saturday afternoon. Now, if you know me, this doesn’t sound like my usual scene. But since I’ve been isolated out here in Las Vegas without my usual surrounding of geeky friends, I’m doing what I seem to do best: adapt.

Should that worry me? It doesn’t. I’ll adapt back if I need to.

Anyways — it was just a weird event put on by a guy I work with. Quite a lot of people showed up and competed. He hired the film crew to make a show out of it. Allegedly there’s going to be a DVD and they’re going to try and sell it to Spike TV or something. I liked being surrounded by cameras and all that. Because I’m a closet attention whore. Is that an oxymoron?


1) A guy named “blowfish” who could wrap his entire mouth around a pint glass, tilt his head back and take down the beer like a water bubbler.

2) finding the “confessional” booth where you get to talk privately to the camera, walking in, and ranting in a lousy cockney accent how my dad lost his eye playing “speed shillings”

3) Me (yes me) downing an entire bottle of Fat Tire in about 8 seconds, on camera, while the room cheered me on.

4) A lovely lady who went by the name of “Brooklyn Cyclone” trying the same beer drinking move, and throwing up, also on camera, in front of a roomful of people she barely knew.

I chatted with the “Brooklyn Cyclone” later and she turned out to be very cool. She was a chef from Manhattan, and was a bit worried she’d lose her job if the shot of her puking made it on national TV. Once I had made as much fun of her most-embarrassing-moment as I possibly could, we talked about food and computers for a bit. We both seemed to be having a good time, then my sister and her husband show up, and I went too far by mentioning to them that she puked on TV within five seconds of introducing them.

I want so bad to be smooth but I’m really a dumbass sometimes.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Speedquarters!

  1. I was in a bar the night before St. Patrick’s Day. I was already drunk and high on the Big C when I decided that whoever was in the bar come 12:00 a.m. I’d buy them a guiness. That’s right. Bartedender! a round for the bar on me.

    1) I knew there’d be a lot of people there
    2) I knew it’d be expensivve
    3) I knew _someone_ had to do it and if nobody else was going to take it on, by golly, I guess it was going to be me.

    Go for the story, my man. Go for the out of the ordinary. You can talk to a pretty and interesting woman almost any time you want. How often do you get to embarrass the hell out of one even if unintentionally?

    • So how much does something like that cost? I am curious. Normal sized bar, full but not crowded…?

      • I think there was around two dozen people. I thought it was going to be more (at $4.50 a pop for guinness) but the bartender went easy on me. Maybe because he’s Irish, maybe because he wanted a nice tip. Only rung me up for $90 some odd.

        It was a big hit.

  2. Wow! Posts!
    You *have* to let us know when this is on TV.

    Taste any Brooklyn vomit? (wink, wink)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>