Are you tired of bleeding? Would you prefer not to die? Tried gauze and pressure, but you’re still leaking and it’s just soaking up the blood like a sponge? Well have we got something for you!
I don’t know exactly why, but I just love it when high-tech is super-low-tech. This new bandage is laced with ground up shrimp shells. And applied to even a gunshot wound it can clot the blood in under a minute. Talk about old school… shrimp have been around for, like what, 250 million years? I guess that’s their secret to lasting so long, and why you never see a shrimp killed by a gunshot wound.
Anyways, I just love that. Next time I’m shot or stabbed I’m hitting Buffet@Asia and piling on the peel & eat.